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Season 3! Try to be exact!
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Screencaps Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues
Fan(g)s, add your favorite quotes from Season 3 below under the episode heading!

TRUE BLOOD SEASON 3 QUOTE
WHO SAID IT
SAID TO EPISODE
ADDED BY
Episode 301: Bad Blood
"I’m sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, alright? But honestly, who here hasn’t!” Arlene Tara Ep 301: Bad Blood glamoured
"I hear the water in Arkansas is very... hard." Bill Sam Ep 301: Bad Blood glamoured
"Conscience off. Dick on." Andy Jason Ep 301: Bad Blood glamoured
"I'm in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight, Pam." Sookie Pam Ep 301: Bad Blood glamoured
"Now, why'd ya have to go and kill that maenad? She's a terrific decorator." Pam Sookie Ep 301: Bad Blood glamoured



Ep 301: Bad Blood



Ep 301: Bad Blood
Episode 302: Beautifully Broken
"Bill Compton is no Godric." Eric Sookie Ep 302: Beautifully Broken glamoured
"Huh, I ain't never been in the front seat before." Jason himself Ep 302: Beautifully Broken glamoured
"Excuse me, gentleman. I need to drain the second course. Carlo? Bring me that Thai boy." Talbot Russell & Bill Ep 302: Beautifully Broken glamoured
"A vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions. He dominates them." Godric Eric Ep 302: Beautifully Broken glamoured
"She's as mad as a monkey on a trike and has been for centuries." Talbot Bill Ep 302: Beautifully Broken glamoured
"Oh, I'm not leavin'. You are going to invite me in, so I can protect you or have passionate, primal sex with you. How about both? So, are you going to invite me in?" Eric Sookie Ep 302: Beautifully Broken glamoured



Ep 302: Beautifully Broken



Ep 302: Beautifully Broken
Episode 303: It Hurts Me Too
Sookie to Eric: "How's your bullet wound?"
Eric to Sookie: "Well, it would have healed a lot faster if you had..."
Sookie to Eric: "I will never fall for that again."
Eric to Sookie: "Maybe the next time you shoot me."
Sookie & Eric Sookie & Eric Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too glamoured
Jason to Lafayette: "I got a lot on my mind lately."
Lafayette to Jason: "That must feel new."
Jason
Lafayette
Lafayette
Jason
Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too glamoured
"I quit. I've had it with this shit. Every time we clear one murder, two more pop up. It's like crab grass. Forty-three years and what do I have to show for it? Gaps in my brain and polyps in my ass." Bud Andy & Tanya Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too glamoured
"You've won! You have deprived me of my freedom, my home, my humanity. But I will never, ever, love you. Never!" Bill Lorena Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too glamoured
"I always dreamed of havin' my own little chicken shack. I'd call it Mickens Chicken and Chitlins." Joe Lee Sam Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too glamoured
"If you throw a punch, you're so one of us!” Tommy Sam Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too glamoured
"I've got your rug all wet." Eric Sookie Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too glamoured
"It is like Armageddon in here every time someone chips a dessert glass." Russell Bill Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too glamoured



Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too



Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too



Ep 303: It Hurts Me Too
Episode 304: 9 Crimes
"That's called closing the deal. *whistling* Let's go, RuPaul." Eric Lafayette Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
"Tommy? Think you can fly straight from now on?" Joe Lee Tommy Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
"Ring ring, hookah. Ring, ring." Lafayette Tara's cell Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
"Boss man, have you seen this face? It's nothing but art." Lafayette Eric Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
"Sometimes I think that boy's cheese done slid right off his cracker." Melinda Sam Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
"That boy! Makes my ass itch." Joe Lee Sam Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
Sookie to Eric: "Can all vampires fly?"
Eric to Sookie: "Can all humans sing?"
Sookie to Eric: "Are you kiddin'? I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it."
Sookie/Eric Sookie/Eric Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
Sookie to Eric: "You smell like the ocean in winter. How is that possible? Bill doesn't smell like anything."
Eric to Sookie: "It's not possible."
Sookie to Eric: "You played by the north sea as a child."
Eric to Sookie: "Yes, how do you know?"
Sookie to Eric: "I'm smelling your memories."
Eric to Sookie: "Not even you can do that."
Sookie to Eric: "I got skills you can't even dream of, cowboy."
Sookie/Eric Sookie/Eric Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
Sookie to Alcide: "Oh my God, you're so warm."
Alcide to Sookie: "Sorry."
Sookie to Alcide: "It's okay. I'm just not used to it."
Alcide to Sookie: "It's a were thing. We run hot."
Sookie to Alcide: "I thought maybe you were coming down with the flu."
Sookie/Alcide Sookie/Alcide Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured
Lafayette to Calvin: "I'm just here to up your game. Help you step up in the world. Clean some shit up."
Crystal to Lafayette/Calvin: "I'll go grab the Dirt Devil from Felton."
Lafayette, Crystal Lafayette, Calvin Ep 304: 9 Crimes glamoured



Ep 304: 9 Crimes



Ep 304: 9 Crimes



Ep 304: 9 Crimes
Episode 305: Trouble
"He looks like he got bombed by radiation on the way to middle school. That's a giant six grade boy right there." Tommy Jessica Ep 305: Trouble glamoured
"You know, Russell was right. You're not very smart. You've played yourself into a corner, you tiresome cow." Bill Lorena Ep 305: Trouble glamoured
"She is such a f***ing disaster. We could be twins." Franklin Russell Ep 305: Trouble glamoured
"Voila! He's not missing, and he's way to square to deal V." Talbot Eric Ep 305: Trouble glamoured
"Magister. He's a nasty little anachronistic toad, a ridiculous remnant of the middle ages. The only power he has over us is the power we give him. There may be a way to solve all our problems." Russell Eric, Bill, Talbot Ep 305: Trouble glamoured
Tara to Franklin: "We need to talk."
Franklin to Tara: "Don't say that. Women say that, everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts."
Tara & Franklin Tara & Franklin Ep 305: Trouble glamoured
Talbot to Franklin: "You and your dusky little blood beast are totally at odds with my decor."
Franklin to Tara re: Talbot: "Ignore him. He's the cleaning lady."
Talbot & Franklin Talbot & Franklin Ep 305: Trouble glamoured
Ulfrik to Eric: "You can't spend your life between a woman's legs."
Eric to Ulfrik: "I can try."
Eric/Ulfrik Eric/Ulfrik Ep 305: Trouble glamoured
"Franklin, you are a huge freak." Russell Franklin Ep 305: Trouble pbt
"I am not going to die because of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole." Sookie Alcide Ep 305: Trouble pbt
"How can I refuse." Eric Franklin Ep 305: Trouble pbt



Ep 305: Trouble



Ep 305: Trouble



Ep 305: Trouble
Episode 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues
Sookie to Lorena: "If you do kill him, I will kill you."
Lorena to Sookie: "Oh please, please try. Without that sanctimonious little prick, Godric, to save you, I would just love to rip you open and wear your ribcage as a hat."
Sookie & Lorena Sookie & Lorena Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues glamoured
"You never take me anywhere because you prefer to be in the company of sycophants! Deep down, my darling, you're a very wicked character." Talbot Russell Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues glamoured
"Please! I have known some of the finest queens who ever lived. You, my dear girl, are no queen." Russell Sophie-Anne Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues glamoured
"I will rip your head off and throw it in the pool, and I will have fun doing it." Eric Sophie-Anne Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues glamoured
“I wish I had known you before you were made... before you turned hard. I would have liked to have seen you smile with light in your eyes instead of darkness. That would have been something.” Bill Lorena Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues glamoured
"Please don’t kill me. I’m pregnant. That probably just makes you want to eat me even more! This is why people hate y’all!" Arlene Jessica Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues glamoured
"There's a fine line between feisty and delusional." Russell Sookie Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues glamoured



Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues



Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues



Ep 306: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues
Episode 307: Hitting the Ground
Pam to Magister: "You can dish it out but you sure can't take it. Can you, Magister?"
Eric to Pam: "Let's see how this plays out, Pam. We can always taunt later."
Pam
Eric
Magister
Pam
Ep 307: Hitting the Ground
glamoured
Jason to Hoyt: "And also, do you think she's named after the champagne, cuz I'm thinkin' she was."
Hoyt to Jason: "J, she's from Hot Shot. She's probably named after that drug that keeps the town afloat."
Jason/Hoyt Jason/Hoyt Ep 307: Hitting the Ground glamoured
"The only vampire a vampire can trust is the vampire he made."
Eric Sophie-Anne Ep 307: Hitting the Ground glamoured
"Um... um... ummmm. Give her uh... three stars." Eric Sophie-Anne Ep 307: Hitting the Ground glamoured
"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that." Eric Sophie-Anne Ep 307: Hitting the Ground glamoured
"Love the place. Love your vibe. We must talk franchising later." Russell Eric Ep 307: Hitting the Ground glamoured
"Summer these are... Hoyt, I'm telling ya, this one here. She's gonna make a great grandmama one day. She's a keeper." Jason Summer Ep 307: Hitting the Ground glamoured
"You're just a scared man in saggy underpants with no discernible life skills whatsoever." Sam Joe Lee Ep 307: Hitting the Ground glamoured
"Yes, thanks. I'm so happy, I could bleed." Queen
Sophie-Anne
Magister Ep 307: Hitting the Ground vikinglove21
"How'd you know I was a Tiffany's girl?" Pam Magister Ep 307: Hitting the Ground vikinglove21
"Ay, que lástima!... whatever." Russell Magister Ep 307: Hitting the Ground vikinglove21
"Can we hurry up? I'm getting cold feet."
Queen Sophie-Anne Russell & Magister Ep 307: Hitting the Ground vikinglove21
"I like you, Hoyt. I wanna be your girlfriend, and I really want you to taste my biscuits." Summer Hoyt Ep 307: Hitting the Ground vikinglove21
"Excellent they'll match my chains."
Pam
Magister Ep 307: Hitting the Ground pbt
"You can't seem to stay out of trouble, can you?"
Claudine
Sookie Ep 307: Hitting the Ground pbt
"No wonder Bill is drawn to you. You're delicious."
Lorena
Sookie Ep 307: Hitting the Ground pbt
"Alright. F***! Your mind reading shit is getting f***ing old!"
Debbie
Sookie Ep 307: Hitting the Ground pbt
"I knew you and me being roommates wasn't gonna suck forever."
Jason
Hoyt Ep 307: Hitting the Ground pbt
"I ain't your sweetheart no more."
Debbie
Alcide Ep 307: Hitting the Ground pbt
"I never thought I was smart enough to get depressed."
Jason
Hoyt Ep 307: Hitting the Ground pbt
"Fine so be it."
Sophie-Anne
Eric Ep 307: Hitting the Ground pbt



Ep 307: Hitting the Ground



Ep 307: Hitting the Ground
Episode 308: Night on the Sun
"Sook? Say something. You brain damaged?" Jason Sookie Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
"Is that your stomach growling or you got gas?" Jason
Crystal
Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
"I enjoy a good head ripping as much as the next vampire." Eric
Russell
Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
"Good, maybe you can flirt some sense into that girl, because logic sure ain't workin'." Tara
Alcide
Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
"This is Holly, your new waitress. Don't sleep with her." Arlene
Sam
Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
Talbot to Russell: "Excited? Franklin's brains won't wash off the guest linens! I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena. I've had enough excitement, thank you."
Russell to Talbot: "Oh, poor Talbot. Are your diamond slippers chafing?"
Talbot/Russell
Talbot/Russell Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
"Waving a kitchen knife is a hell of a way to say you care." Lafayette Jesus
Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
"This isn't a room! It's a f***ing closet." Sophie-Anne to whomever will listen Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
Bill: "Jessica, it's over."
Jessica: "No way."
Bill: "Way."
Bill/Jessica Bill/Jessica Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
"I'm bored. Take off your clothes." Talbot Eric
Ep 308: Night on the Sun glamoured
"There's a were-bitch in your study." Eric Russell Ep 308: Night on the Sun vikinglove21



Ep 308: Night on the Sun



Ep 308: Night on the Sun
Episode 309: Everything is Broken
"Arlene's fixin' to throw a molotov through your little brother's window if you don't get down here." Terry Sam Ep 309: Everything is Broken glamoured
"You have got an excellent selection of cosmetics. I'll give you that. Ain't nothing hurt me when I got on my war paint."Ruby JeanLafayetteEp 309: Everything is Brokenglamoured
"Something different about you. You ain't got your mask on. I see you. My son is shining through."Ruby JeanLafayetteEp 309: Everything is Brokenglamoured
"Well, I'm a virgo. I like to be neat."EricNanEp 309: Everything is Brokenglamoured
"Why should we seek equal rights? We are not your equal."RussellaudienceEp 309: Everything is Brokenglamoured
"Turn that little f***er upside down and shake it out of him."ArleneSamEp 309: Everything is Brokenglamoured
"And now for the weather... Tiffany?"RussellaudienceEp 309: Everything is Brokenemeraldcity1
"Listen you whiny piece of sh**!" Nan Eric Ep 309: Everything is Broken emeraldcity1



Ep 309: Everything is Broken



Ep 309: Everything is Broken
Episode 310: I Smell a Rat
"Here's the truth. There are forces beyond even my control. If I meet the true death without ever having kissed you, Sookie Stackhouse, that would be my biggest regret." Eric Sookie Ep 310: I Smell a Rat glamoured
"Them f***ers is a whole new dimension of trash."
and
"So, you mo' like a shaman in a Sunday hat."
Lafayette Jesus Ep 310: I Smell a Rat glamoured
"I'm a fairy? How f***ing lame."
and
"God f***in' dammit, I am an alien."
SookieBillEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured
"You can be a cold-hearted bastard."
"Blah, blah, vampire emergency. Blah."
"You're choosing a human? Over yourself, Eric? Over me?"
"I have no interest in inheriting your farm in Urland. That place is a windy shit hole."
PamEricEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured
"I get it. You don't like vampires. Well, I don't like narrow-minded, skinny bitches with bad dye jobs, but at least I have the courtesy to keep my mouth shut. At least most of the time. I suggest you do the same."JessicaArleneEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured
"Are you kiddin'? You gave me total wood."TommyJessicaEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured
"More like hair of the dog. Huh."TommySamEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured
"Yeah, well, you're an idiot."SamTommyEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured
"It is more important than ever that we restrain ourselves. Even if it is against our nature."BillJessicaEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured
"Mama."JasonCrystalEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured
"You should know since now you're his butt boy."BillEricEp 310: I Smell a Ratglamoured



Ep 310: I Smell a Rat



Ep 310: I Smell a Rat



Ep 310: I Smell a Rat
Episode 311: Fresh Blood
Pam to Bill: "Get a clue, Bill... This is not just about your relationship you infatuated tween."
Pam to Bill: "Colloidal silver. In stock and overpriced at your neighborhood health food store."
PamBill
Ep 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured
"Look, I get that you're in a mood, but you're polluting our positive energy vibes, and it's killing our tips."HollySamEp 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured
"Drunk and yelling. You're like Joe Lee in a Sam suit."TommySamEp 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured
"You had Tommy before you ripped him a new asshole."
"'Put away the wedding china. Tara's coming over.'"
TaraSamEp 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured
"Oh come on! What's this? You know I love you more when you are cold and heartless."EricPamEp 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured
Russell to Eric: "I'm about to put an end to your insignificant existence. This is not the time to be obscure."
Eric to Russell: Apparently, you wanted my father's crown for your vast collection of meaningless shit.
Russell to Eric: "My, my. To lose the one man I ever loved because you miss your mommy and daddy. Well that is a kick in the pants."
Russell/EricRussell/EricEp 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured
Crystal to Jason: "I told you I had secrets, and you said you didn't care."
Jason to Crystal: "I thought it was shoplifting or something."
Crystal/JasonCrystal/JasonEp 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured
Pam to Bill/Sookie: "Don't leave me alone with this idiot immigrant."
Yvetta to Pam: "Idiot? Ha! In Tallinn, I am a cardiologist."
Pam

Yvetta
Bill/Sookie

Pam
Ep 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured
"That makes you a criminal, a drug abuser, and a cheater. On top of which you're already a cocky bullshit motherf***er. I'm taking you down boy."JasonKitchEp 311: Fresh Bloodglamoured



Ep 311: Fresh Blood



Ep 311: Fresh Blood



Ep 311: Fresh Blood



Ep 311: Fresh Blood



Ep 311: Fresh Blood



Ep 311: Fresh Blood



Ep 311: Fresh Blood
Episode 312: Evil Is Going On
"I want my phone back."
Eric
Bill
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured
"Oh great! On top of everything else, I'm out an assassin."
Eric
Pam
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured
"When fate presents itself with such a grand opportunity, what else is one to do?"Bill
Eric
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured
"If you two have finished eye-f***ing each other, can we go?"
Eric
Bill/Alcide
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured
"You're a witch. You're a witch, who's a nurse, who's a dude. I guess I lucked out then, huh?"
Lafayette
Jesus
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured
"Here you go, Uncle Daddy Calvin."
Bufort
Calvin
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured
"Did you kill him? Please tell me you killed him because I will never get the cement out of my hair."
Pam
Eric
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured
"You are about to be buried alive, and honestly, it is a thing of beauty."
Bill
Russell
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured
"Go crawl back into your holes you creepy, cold freaks!"
Sookie
Bill, Eric, Pam, Russell
Ep 312: Evil is Going Onglamoured



Ep 312: Evil is Going On



Ep 312: Evil is Going On



Ep 312: Evil is Going On



Ep 312: Evil is Going On



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